I do not understand why I am mistreated all these years even into my adulthood. Maybe after having me, resulting many bad things occur around her that make her despises me. But, my mom told me that after having me, financially and lives had improved. So, I really do not know what else can cause the person that carried me for 9mths and delivered me be so mean to me. All these years I am a slave to her - she has vision problem, so I am her eyes. Since, I was schooling age, I could not do much, so, I only helped around when necessary and as needed. I always accompanied my mom to anywhere she went by lending my arms for her to held, informed her whenever there was potholes, steps..etc.
When I got my driver's license, I will drive her around instead of taking cab. Conclusion, I treat her like whatever a mother-daughter close bond would have done. To the extend of scooping meal for her or cut up the meal for her to ease her eating. Run errand for her. The list goes on and on..I really feel that I do not deserve being treated harshly. She can love my bros dearly but she does not need to be mean to me. Afterall, I am the one doing things for her for so many years without complain. From hatred when I was a kid, to forgiven her when I was a young girl on what she bestowed to me but I will not forget how she treats me. The hatred is no longer burning inside me and to the furthest I can go is to forgive her but not forget the whole issues.
I am raised to bow to her just like she bows to her sons. I tried to win her heart by excelling in my education, my service in my parents company, my marriage and even my motherhood to my own adorable son. I tried my best in everything just to gain her love but alas, all turned into a blind eye and deaf ear. In the end, years ago, I already stopped gaining her love. To me now, is to continue my filial as a daughter till the day she breathe her last. I believe in karma and I am a soft hearted person so I cannot be mean as she does. I will still help her eventhough I loathe doing it as she shows neither appreciation nor cherish.
(2) She told lies about my husband, the then boyfriend of mine of his career when she first introduced him to my relatives in Singapore. Yes, my mom is a Singaporean. She always will shows discomfort and refuse and silence whenever people mention about my husband and me. She does not share our success. She will make it looks how lame we are as possible, if she cannot hide it, she will keep quiet - imagine, when people ask, she did not respond - how embarrass she make us? On the contrary, she boasted about her sons regardless some are false claims by herself. Even there occurs any less success by my bros, she will anyhow cover it up or will twist it to a success events. Ha Ha Ha! Fantastic right?
Only me and my husband and now my son, she will tarnish us whenever she can and as much as she can. Also will have false claims by herself but not of good things but lies of bad things on us.
Wednesday 27 March 2013
Olden Days Tradition Still Lives In This Era - Part 1
Oh yes! It is happening in my family. To be exact, I am the victim of that so called tradition of Mother favouring son more than daughter. I am a daughter - that is why a victim :) Let me share into some of the cases that I am enduring till as at today - I am 31 yrs old now - which means I have been suffering for the past 3 decades.
I was told by my mom that she did not intend to have me. To her children was a nightmare and 1 child was more than enough for her. However, my dad wanted more children. First is a boy, second is also a boy. My dad wanted a girl but my mom did not want more children but obliged in the end. After seeking to have a girl from God, my parents were blessed with a girl finally - ME! :)
As far as I remember, from the age that I can understand and remember things - I do not have pleasant memories or fond memories with my mom. We have constant arguments. I still remember when I was much younger, when I learnt how to spell 'parents' - I wrote ' I hate parent' on my parents' bedroom wall. Blek! Without further ado, allow me to share the favoritism:-
(1) Both my brothers studied high school in Singapore, later eldest to Australia and 2nd to USA. Only me by my parents sides. Therefore, whenever my bros were coming back for holidays, a month before they arrived, my mom would always be hostile to me for no apparent reason. Always would have fault occur resulting us in a shouting match. I always loathed her doing that to me. Needless to say, when both my bros were finally arrived, I was totally neglected and ignored plus her angry face expression always shone on upon me. She would always be cheery and served them like they were kings. Is understandable that they were not by her sides throughout the years except term breaks. She can treat them well when they are around but do not need the hostility on me. I was told from young not to order drinks/juices in dining area because costly, but when they around they can. How funny, in terms of education, they spent more than me and yet I was deny juices. Not that I am small gas, blek, juice is not a big deal but the treatment is.
I was told by my mom that she did not intend to have me. To her children was a nightmare and 1 child was more than enough for her. However, my dad wanted more children. First is a boy, second is also a boy. My dad wanted a girl but my mom did not want more children but obliged in the end. After seeking to have a girl from God, my parents were blessed with a girl finally - ME! :)
As far as I remember, from the age that I can understand and remember things - I do not have pleasant memories or fond memories with my mom. We have constant arguments. I still remember when I was much younger, when I learnt how to spell 'parents' - I wrote ' I hate parent' on my parents' bedroom wall. Blek! Without further ado, allow me to share the favoritism:-
(1) Both my brothers studied high school in Singapore, later eldest to Australia and 2nd to USA. Only me by my parents sides. Therefore, whenever my bros were coming back for holidays, a month before they arrived, my mom would always be hostile to me for no apparent reason. Always would have fault occur resulting us in a shouting match. I always loathed her doing that to me. Needless to say, when both my bros were finally arrived, I was totally neglected and ignored plus her angry face expression always shone on upon me. She would always be cheery and served them like they were kings. Is understandable that they were not by her sides throughout the years except term breaks. She can treat them well when they are around but do not need the hostility on me. I was told from young not to order drinks/juices in dining area because costly, but when they around they can. How funny, in terms of education, they spent more than me and yet I was deny juices. Not that I am small gas, blek, juice is not a big deal but the treatment is.
Sunday 24 March 2013
My Beautiful Son - 27th month
It has been awhile since i last pen down my gem son's progress :) Apart from being cheeky and mischievous, he has grown so much. Since going to pre-school, his vocabs has increasingly well. Knowledge is widen too. Communication now is getting easier. Since, he can now understand more, he is easy to care by. Ced is the type of boy that accept soft approach rather than harsh. He is a good boy so much so that he willing to be reasoned by me. For eg. during bathing time, he loves to play water in a bucket with water scoop. But I need him to be out of the shower to go to bed . So, I allow him to play but I told him once the water is out, you must go to your room and sleep. To which, he agrees and he really honors it. Which kids do not want to play instead of sleeping? None, right? As a parent, I need to makesure my son gets his sleep time and play time scheduled well. So, for every action, I will inform him ahead that he needs to sleep now and wake up to play later. He is such an understanding boy, he allows me to tuck him into bed for napping.
He is such an angel when he is obedient but sometimes he does cranky. Oh well, which kids don't :) For crankiness, I need to attend to it gently to avoid him being hysterical and deny everything after that. Getting him calms down is the first priority then proceed to soft reasoning to make him understand eventually, he gets it. Conclusion, patience and with reasoning = calm and understanding kid. Once Ced gets the idea of it, usually is inked in his memory. Following days, will be much better.
He is a talkative boy as once he is awake, he can never stops calling 'mummy..mummy..mummy'..Even he has nothing in mind, he will still keep calling mummy and simply find something to say/do :) He loves crane so much so he needs crane toy, build crane with lego/duplo, draw crane on his drawing pad..everything and everyday are about CRANE. He is a busybody boy too. Loves to do things by himself such as eat by himself, helping hand to me - carry things to maid, clean up his toys after play, flush his own pee/poo..basically, what you need him to help, he is a willing party to help you be extra hands :) He starts peeing and poo lesser in his pampers when he is around with me. As in school, he is off pampers and so far he does not leak. But at home or go out, I usually put on pampers on him as I am a lazy mom. Blek! But he will tell me when he wants to pee/poo often now instead of leaking into his pampers.
Today is the first day I put him on fullday at school. Hopefully, all is well :) Heavy hearted when I left him this morning at school. I miss the time I rushed off from office to pick him up at 1pm then backed home to mothering him till night. In fact, not too bad. I hope he is well taken care of in school and very big hope he adapts to it. Tomorrow is a better day..!
He is such an angel when he is obedient but sometimes he does cranky. Oh well, which kids don't :) For crankiness, I need to attend to it gently to avoid him being hysterical and deny everything after that. Getting him calms down is the first priority then proceed to soft reasoning to make him understand eventually, he gets it. Conclusion, patience and with reasoning = calm and understanding kid. Once Ced gets the idea of it, usually is inked in his memory. Following days, will be much better.
He is a talkative boy as once he is awake, he can never stops calling 'mummy..mummy..mummy'..Even he has nothing in mind, he will still keep calling mummy and simply find something to say/do :) He loves crane so much so he needs crane toy, build crane with lego/duplo, draw crane on his drawing pad..everything and everyday are about CRANE. He is a busybody boy too. Loves to do things by himself such as eat by himself, helping hand to me - carry things to maid, clean up his toys after play, flush his own pee/poo..basically, what you need him to help, he is a willing party to help you be extra hands :) He starts peeing and poo lesser in his pampers when he is around with me. As in school, he is off pampers and so far he does not leak. But at home or go out, I usually put on pampers on him as I am a lazy mom. Blek! But he will tell me when he wants to pee/poo often now instead of leaking into his pampers.
Today is the first day I put him on fullday at school. Hopefully, all is well :) Heavy hearted when I left him this morning at school. I miss the time I rushed off from office to pick him up at 1pm then backed home to mothering him till night. In fact, not too bad. I hope he is well taken care of in school and very big hope he adapts to it. Tomorrow is a better day..!
My Personal Review of Skincare - Part 4
I have been blogging on mainly branded skincare all these while. Surprisingly, in this blog I am going to write about cheap & effective drugstore products :) My maid's contract was up, so I have to care for my son solely myself which leaving me lesser time on 'me time'. So, I no longer spend time on thinking what to lavish on or what to try on. Honestly, I save alot..hehehe...Since, I am mostly mothering around my son, I am always hot and sweaty due to our humid weather. Plus, during his nap time only I have my 'me time'. Therefore, I prefer to speed up my shower & facial regime time so that I can sit back and enjoy a cuppa hot coffee over papers and TV :)
Dear readers, If you have been following my review (if not, pls do so :)), you all know that I am constantly on full skincare range - cleaner, toner, serum, moisturizer, UV. It has been a month I am into bedak sejuk (rice cooling powder), the one olden days women were using. I use it everynight until now. Good for oil controlling and heal pimples fast. It has anti-iflammatory/anti-bacterial function, therefore, pimples tend to be less redness/visible - dries off and recover without scar. Skin is smoother and fairer. I used to wake up with oily face but not anymore.
I always bathe in the afternoon. Naturally, will wash my face thrice. Let me into detail on my 3 times washing habits. I realize that people thought I have real bad skin so much so I need to wash it 3 times :) Some thought too oily if I do not wash in the afternoon. Well, morning & night I will shower, obviously will run through my face. For noon session, I bathe - with hair and body shampoo. So it happens 3 times for facial cleansing for my case. I used to apply skincare regime during noon either 3 or 4 steps, depending whether I want to use UV or not. These days, I find it hassle so prefer simple step. Since I can use bedak, so i tried Hazeline Snow Moisturizing Cream (yellow cap). After wash, just apply this cream.
Voila! extraordinary experience. It really lives up to its name 'Snow'. The texture is special as it is semi hard. Have to dip my fingers into the jar - which feels like pressing against snow texture feeling. Dab on cheeks, forehead, nose & chin (depending on your like whether to apply 50cts or pea size), then smooth/blend well around face to avoid whitish look. It sort of evaporate/absorb fast leaving matte powdery finish with smooth & soft touching. It actually last whole day even sweat or oily your skin is, you can see at the end of the day, your skin glows a little. Meaning not oily shine type. I always apply on face and neck.
Morning I still use my Biotherm skincare. This is the only skincare brand I strongly suggest to people to use. So far, I have good result from this brand and also the facial is superb. This is the only brand that controls my redness and breakouts. Bedak & Hazeline Snow are good on skin and during breakouts, they are the best remedy for pimples. As working adult, I do not need to worry on breakout days as the pimples are not visible and not as bad as previously experienced. Just dab more bedak over night, I wake up to shrinking pimples with no inflamme. I no longer need foundation to cover up my imperfection :) Coz, the imperfections now have been under-control resulting a more natural look :)
Hazeline Snow Moisturizing Cream - small jar RM7.20, big jar RM10.20
Bedak Sejuk - less than RM5 per bottle.
Dear readers, If you have been following my review (if not, pls do so :)), you all know that I am constantly on full skincare range - cleaner, toner, serum, moisturizer, UV. It has been a month I am into bedak sejuk (rice cooling powder), the one olden days women were using. I use it everynight until now. Good for oil controlling and heal pimples fast. It has anti-iflammatory/anti-bacterial function, therefore, pimples tend to be less redness/visible - dries off and recover without scar. Skin is smoother and fairer. I used to wake up with oily face but not anymore.
I always bathe in the afternoon. Naturally, will wash my face thrice. Let me into detail on my 3 times washing habits. I realize that people thought I have real bad skin so much so I need to wash it 3 times :) Some thought too oily if I do not wash in the afternoon. Well, morning & night I will shower, obviously will run through my face. For noon session, I bathe - with hair and body shampoo. So it happens 3 times for facial cleansing for my case. I used to apply skincare regime during noon either 3 or 4 steps, depending whether I want to use UV or not. These days, I find it hassle so prefer simple step. Since I can use bedak, so i tried Hazeline Snow Moisturizing Cream (yellow cap). After wash, just apply this cream.
Voila! extraordinary experience. It really lives up to its name 'Snow'. The texture is special as it is semi hard. Have to dip my fingers into the jar - which feels like pressing against snow texture feeling. Dab on cheeks, forehead, nose & chin (depending on your like whether to apply 50cts or pea size), then smooth/blend well around face to avoid whitish look. It sort of evaporate/absorb fast leaving matte powdery finish with smooth & soft touching. It actually last whole day even sweat or oily your skin is, you can see at the end of the day, your skin glows a little. Meaning not oily shine type. I always apply on face and neck.
Morning I still use my Biotherm skincare. This is the only skincare brand I strongly suggest to people to use. So far, I have good result from this brand and also the facial is superb. This is the only brand that controls my redness and breakouts. Bedak & Hazeline Snow are good on skin and during breakouts, they are the best remedy for pimples. As working adult, I do not need to worry on breakout days as the pimples are not visible and not as bad as previously experienced. Just dab more bedak over night, I wake up to shrinking pimples with no inflamme. I no longer need foundation to cover up my imperfection :) Coz, the imperfections now have been under-control resulting a more natural look :)
Hazeline Snow Moisturizing Cream - small jar RM7.20, big jar RM10.20
Bedak Sejuk - less than RM5 per bottle.
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